Why I'm Cheating (and You Should Too)

A Creative Reset Story

Note: First, I want to thank my subscribers who have contacted me since my last post. You have put me in a much better headspace, and I cannot thank you enough for your kind words and stories. I would also like to thank

Seth Werkheiser

for helping me start a side hustle that will put me in a better position for my future. I cannot thank you all enough for your kindness.

I’m currently reading We Need Your Art,

Amie McNee

’s newest book on creativity and seeing yourself as an artist. I’ve been a massive fan of Amie since she started her podcast Unpublished and have been eagerly watching her grow. I’ve read a bajillion craft books this year and last, hoping each one I read will inch me closer to writing my second novel. I even started character mapping over the weekend. However, with each attempt to begin, there is a knot in my stomach, and I think I don’t want to do this again.

I have been trying to figure out where that voice is coming from. I wrote my first novel so quickly on a blaze of passion and published it just as quickly. That blaze died out after it was published. I left the book on a cliffhanger, and to my readers, I am so sorry. I cannot make myself pick up the story again. I have some ideas of where it could go. I have thought about taking it down and rewriting it. But the idea of typing away on my computer screen for hours, living in a world I feel I cannot escape, sounds torturous. I know this sounds strange. Writing is my calling, after all. Enter We Need Your Art.

Excuse the thumb lol

The 2-week reset calls for a very small, ridiculously achievable goal. For writers, it would be writing a minimum of 250 words per day. It also calls for repeating this at the same time every day for 2 weeks with a limitation (ex: you cannot research for 2 weeks). My first instinct was to make a 250-word writing goal. Again, I got the sinking feeling in my stomach. I really, really don’t want to write fiction.

Is there something wrong with me? Do I have a fever? Is the job I just got PIPped at taking over my confidence? No, no, and no. For as long as I can remember, I have loved visual art. I eagerly waited for my monthly art class in grade school to learn about the greats and attempt their style. I admired all my art club friends and their incredible art in high school. I even snuck in the Art Club yearbook photo senior year, even though I never participated. I wanted to, but the running joke has been how comically bad I am at drawing. It’s a narrative I have believed to be true my entire life. What I did not realize is that, like anything, drawing is a skill. Sure, some are born with a more… innate artistic sense. BUT they work with the skills they have to continue to improve.

I’ve also realized that I’ve let the pretentious elements of craft dictate what I write and how I approach my creative process. Now that I’ve had that realization, I get the ick whenever I show up to the page, like I’m role-playing what I think an author should be. So, I’ve decided to use this two-week reset to do something I’m excited about.

I’m cheating on writing and having an affair with visual art.

I’m taking a few courses on Domestika, and my goal for these two weeks is to document my progress. I am taking a drawing class and will later start a graphic design course to learn the basics of digital art and illustration. I’m really excited! You’ve probably seen some of my notes: Lunch-Time Art, also now fondly called LTA. I’ll be posting as I go along, with embarrassing mistakes and beginner errors. I’m excited to try something new and share it with you.

This is a great way to rebel: to use time “unproductively,” to use energy reserves for myself, to create and think in a new way. I invite you to participate with me.

What is something you’ve always wanted to try, but have been too embarrassed to start? Or told yourself you didn’t have time to do it?

When you want to do something other than writing, do you feel like you are “cheating”?

How could you carve out 10-15 minutes to start a new creative

venture?

Would you like to do the 2-week reset with me?

Hope you are all resting in the chaos.

xoxo,

Caitlin